You want me to talk about the beautiful boy with the eyes of the sun.

You want me to talk about the lovely family waiting to shower me with love.

But what I want to talk about is the agony and the pain.

The emptiness and loneliness that my heart so desires.

I am not whole, I am not one. I am just bits and pieces of what was.

The past, put in a body.

I see, I feel, everything I shouldn't.

I worry, I scream even though I wish I couldn't. 

I have gone blind from the things I've seen, my heart is bleeding and it can never be cleaned. 

sister, sister

how you spin my life

wounded, bruised

joyful, carefree

all emotions right here

Our lives are now

we all want more

but life is moving on

We live and live

alive in the moment

strangers much inside us...

Let us live our lives

the process of becoming

Let us live the journey

Be here right now

feel the rhythms

of life that resonate

within our souls

so alive with life..

Let us feel deeply

and with so much passion

let us gather ourselves

pick up our lives

and just live them...

and just live them...

Life is precious

life is here...

Behind these eyes you will see
The girl who I'm supposed to be
You'll be amazed what you'll find
Behind these eyes I'm losing my mind
Brown eyes to hide the darkness inside
You cannot help me because of my pride
Someone please come rescue me
I need someone to finally see
That I'm not ok, I'm not alright
I cry myself to sleep every night
Because I am a nobody in disguise
See beyond these deadpan eyes

I don’t want a spark
I want a fireworks display
I don’t want something that lasts one night
I want something that lasts all life
I dont want a small little flame
I want a fire burning in passion
I dont want you to ignore me cause of who I’m not
I want you to acknowledge me for who I am
I dont want to be the number one in your life
I want to be the only one in your life
I dont want you to hold my hand 
I want you to hold my heart
I dont want the beast inside the beauty
but the the beauty inside the beast
I dont want someone who would have to listen to my dying words
but someone who would take the bullet for me
I dont want someone who would leave me in the pouring rain
I want you mine and I'll be yours
forever  together
in  this  world
never apart.

If only you could understand. I write the only way I can.

I write what's on my mind:
all feelings, all thoughts, all things that coincide.
If only you could understand.
You never read as far as I want you to,
So you mistake everything I write about you.
You must think I’m crazy and mean, but you don’t listen to what I tell you, you don’t listen to a dang thing.
Think what you think, I know the truth; ,You’re all the same all you do is lie and were a part of the game.
If only you could understand.
Maybe when I cry, you could lend a hand, see what you might be able to do for me.
I’m so tired of you just sitting there and asking what’s wrong when you know you could make happy.

The day you decided to not talk to me,

To ignore me as you did, I was sad and didn’t understand.

Then I realized what I have done was say something about your girl though I shouldn’t have.

You knew I liked you and you were fine with it, and then it was different but did not care.

And now as though I never existed you ignore me like a stray dog you did not care for.

You walk past me and yet look at me but not a single smile comes to you or me.

I remember that day in math class we laughed and talked like friends would,

And then it came to this day where you are no longer and I wish I never knew you.

From a lush forest in to a barren desert,
from a mighty river in to a dried creek,
This is what you have done to my life.

From a green meadow on to a dark cave,
From a dazzling castle in to a cold realm,
That is where you have taken me.

You're always on my mind, day and night 
when I think of you, all feels so right 
Need to have you, need to hold you 
and tell you that I love you. 
I don't want to see us apart 
you being gone just takes away my heart 
I miss you, oh, I really miss you 
more and more each day 
I know I cannot live without you 
I miss you, more than words can say.

So off we went to spend the night under the stars.

The warmth of the fire and your arms around me, no sign of far-off cars.

We stayed there for hours, just you and me, talking in complete honesty.

We shared everything, anything, whatever words came to mind.

But then things got rough, and I felt your hand sliding down.

I couldn't yell, I couldn't scream. It was no longer me and you, together as a team.

I sat there and took the pain, with nothing to gain. 

When you were done, I decided to have my own fun.

Weapons, everywhere, waiting for me.

Carefully, gently, I carved out your heart. Put it in a box.

I got home and threw it on the table in all its glory for my mother to see.

Sweet boy, I said. 

Her life held no grand moments

No diplomas filled her walls.

She never finished high school.

In fact, didn’t finish much at all.

She was as simple as you saw her.

No deep thinking filled her thoughts.

Just love for friends and family,

And the lessons that love taught.

And those lessons she learned early,

And once learned, shared all she knew.

And those lucky enough to know her,

Knew that her heart was strong and true.

Her husband, sons and daughters,

And friends, both far and near,

Even those who barely knew her,

Could see what she held dear.

So as we face a life without her,

Her lessons will live on.

In all of those that knew her,

Her heart still beats as strong.

My heart was made of glass

Crystal clear so that you could see

All the love that lay within

But glass breaks easily

And the angry words

The unkind treatment

And most of all, the betrayal

Caused the glass to shatter

Pieces of it pierced my eyes

Blinding me to all but the pain

And the memory of the love

That I thought we shared

Growing up I believed in fairy tales

“That once upon a time”and “Happily every after”

Were what I could expect out of life

But life had other things in store for me

I found that always did not mean forever

And forever meant always only to me

For the child that still lives within in me

The reality is so much worse than the fairy tale

Because black and white are literal in my world

And shades of grey should only exist in crayola’s.

give me your love, give me your heart and you'll see i won't break it apart

I'm not like the rest cause you're the best and i see your golden heart

since i love you I'll watch above you and you won't have to worry

I'm here for you, you're there for me, together we will be

we have our future and we have our past we have our present that will last

I'd let you take away from me all that I have left to give.

Maybe you're not real, maybe you're a just a figment of my imagination,

Someone to pull out when I need to play, someone to pull out when I'm blue.

Someone to take me away from the world, and this is your cue.

Lift me up, higher than I've ever been before.

Take me lower than the depression and all the gore.

Fly me to the sea, where it'll be only you and me.

Where there's nothing to run from and no sins to hide.

No way to feel the harsh ocean tide.

Let me ride the waves and feel the ocean flow.

Let me know there's nothing evil waiting below.

Now, set me gently on the ground and I'll tuck you away.

You'll come for me again and my emotions you'll tend.

"Keep me a secret, keep me safe. Keep us safe,"

Now, I don't pull the trigger and I wait for you to fly me away.

So far from this place.

It will beat until the end..

On bended knees

I cried…

Cried and said “Come back to me”

But you just walked away

And ignored me…

When I walked away and left you

Crying on bended knees…

You don’t know

I was crying too…

My heart is like a glass,

Thrown and scattered on the ground…

My whole life and my heart

Is for you…

But you broke it into two..

I thought you love me too

But its not true…

That’s what you think

But I’ll never think to lie…

And never say GOODBYE...

The truth is….

I love you so much….

You’re just the one takes the opportunity…

“Let’s make it over...”

It’s not over...

My love is still for you…

My heart broke into two…

But still beating for you…

It’s too late…

‘cause you cannot make

Me awake… (anyway)

But if you can…

Dig me into death…

    -yatsx